![]() That’s why it’s important to limit disclosure of past traumas and insecurities to partners – until they’ve proven their character long-term.ģ. Regardless of how “off-limits” a topic may be or how inhumane these tactics may seem, they will exploit any vulnerabilities they are aware of or suspect you have. Or, they may make callous “jokes” about an insecurity you’ve told them about (such as a feature of your face or body), only to claim they were teasing or that you are too sensitive. For example, if a narcissist or psychopath knows you have been sexually assaulted, they may start referencing victim-blaming beliefs just to taunt you. That is why they will weaponize the past traumas, insecurities, and fears you’ve disclosed to them against you. As difficult as it may be to accept, some narcissists and psychopaths enjoy deliberately rubbing salt on your wounds just to observe your reactions and see how much they can taunt you. They retraumatize you using your previous traumas and wounds. ![]() ![]() This uncertainty and devaluation keeps you perpetually off-kilter and dependent on their validation much like a cat stalks its prey and swats at it while it runs around trying to avoid being eaten, you’re constantly walking on eggshells, negotiating your self-respect and basic needs with the predator to avoid being swallowed whole.Ģ. You seek comfort from your abuser due to their “hurt-and-rescue” methods – where they deliberately wound you, only to come to the rescue with their comfort and fake apologies and promises to never do it again, only to start the cycle once more. This is part of the powerful trauma bond you develop to your abuser as a survival mechanism. The victim has less time to recover from the abuse when it is ongoing, frequent or impactful, so they go to the source of pain itself in an attempt to survive the abuse. Such debilitating tactics are similar to the interrogation tactics used on prisoners of war. This is their equivalent of playing with their “food” or prey and injuring it immensely before devouring it.īy manufacturing chaos by provoking you, they take up your mental resources so you are only focused on them and the relationship and have less time for yourself, your goals, your healing, and your self-care. They will do this so chronically that you are constantly scrambling to defend, react, and overexplain yourself and become too exhausted to detach from the relationship. ![]() During the abuse cycle, they implant insecurities in you and watch you unravel as you fixate on them. They know exactly what to mention and how to act in order to provoke your emotions and depict you as “crazy” when you do. Narcissists and psychopaths know exactly which trigger buttons to push – and that’s usually because they installed them in the first place. They manufacture chaos by frequently pushing your trigger buttons to exhaust and disorient you so you’re less able to fight back. Here are some red flag behaviors and cat-and-mouse games to watch out for:ġ. Psychologists have suggested that this may mean that psychopaths not only lack empathy for the pain of others, but that they also take sadistic pleasure in witnessing or even causing the pain and distress of others.Īs a researcher who has corresponded with thousands of people who have been in relationships with psychopathic and narcissistic individuals, I have found that there are certain sadistic patterns of behavior common among narcissists and psychopaths who take pleasure in causing pain to their partners. Neuroscience research also indicates that when psychopathic individuals imagine others enduring pain, there is increased activation in areas of the brain related to anticipation of reward and decreased activation in areas related to empathy. Interestingly, other studies report that individuals high in narcissistic and psychopathic traits tend to experience positive emotions when they view sad faces. ![]() Researchers note that sadism is a key feature of malignant narcissism (narcissism with antisocial traits). This gives them a grandiose sense of power and control and a smug sense of satisfaction that they have “one-upped” you with their perpetual cat-and-mouse games. Some narcissistic and psychopathic individuals sadistically enjoy toying with and deliberately causing pain to others. ![]()
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